If you thought you’d escaped the groan-worthy grasp of dad jokes, think again — because we’ve gathered 510+ of the absolute worst puns that are so bad, they loop right back around to being hilariously good.
From painfully predictable wordplay to clever quips that make you laugh and cringe at the same time, this collection is here to test your tolerance for pun-ishment.
If you’re looking to annoy your friends, spice up your captions, or just indulge in some unapologetic cheesy humor, these puns are the bottom of the barrel… and we’re proud of it.
Let’s dive in!
Worst Puns Ever
- 😂 I’m reading a book about anti-gravity — it’s impossible to put down
- 🍞 I loaf you more every day
- 🐟 I’m hooked on fishing jokes
- 🌽 This joke is a-maize-ing
- 🥚 Let’s get cracking
- 🍫 Life without chocolate is unthinkable — and un-choco-latable
- 🥦 Lettuce turnip the beet
- 🐝 Bee yourself, no matter what
- 🐢 I’m turtley in love with bad jokes
- 🥔 I yam what I yam
- 🍇 I’m grapeful for your patience
- 🐓 This joke is poultry in motion
- 🌊 I’m shore you’ve heard this one before
- 🌭 Frankly, I relish bad puns
- 🥤 Soda-licious humor never gets old
- 🐰 Somebunny stop me
- 🧀 This joke is nacho best
- 📚 The plot thickens
Best Inexplicable Puns
- I’m reading a book on anti-gravity — it’s impossible to put down! 📚
- I told my computer I needed a break… now it won’t stop sending me cookies! 🍪💻
- Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts! 💀
- I’m on a seafood diet — I see food and I eat it! 🐟
- I tried to catch some fog… I mist! 🌫️
- I’m friends with all electricians — we have current connections! ⚡
- I used to be a baker… but I kneaded dough! 🥖
- I gave away my vacuum… it was just sucking the life out of me! 🧹
Lousiest Puns
- I can’t stand stairs — they’re always up to something. 🪜
- I wanted to be a banker, but I lost interest. 💸
- I’d tell you a joke about pizza… but it’s a little cheesy! 🍕
- My math teacher is acute guy! 📐
- I stayed up all night to see where the sun went… then it dawned on me! 🌞
- I tried to take a selfie with my coffee — it was brewtiful! ☕
- I went to buy some camouflage pants… but I couldn’t find any! 🥷
- I used to be a shoe designer, but I just didn’t have the sole! 👟
Cringe Puns
- I used to be a velcro salesman… but I couldn’t stick with it! 🪢
- I can’t trust stairs — they’re always up to something! 🪜
- I was struggling to figure out how lightning works… then it struck me! ⚡
- I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough. 🍞
- I asked the librarian if the library had books on paranoia… she whispered, “They’re right behind you!” 📚
- I’m reading a book on anti-gravity… it’s impossible to put down! 😆
- I told my lamp a joke… it didn’t lighten up! 💡
- I used to be a banker, but I lost interest. 💰
Worst Pun Ever
- I once got hit in the head with a can of soda… luckily it was a soft drink! 🥤
- I tried to catch fog… I mist! 🌫️
- I don’t trust people who do acupuncture… they’re back stabbers. 😬
- I can’t believe I got fired from the calendar factory — all I did was take a day off! 📅
- I made a pun about the wind… it blew away! 🌬️
- I accidentally swallowed some food coloring… the doctor says I’m okay, but I feel dyed inside! 🎨
- I can’t trust atoms… they make up everything! ⚛️
- I stayed up all night wondering where the sun went… then it dawned on me! 🌞
Very Bad Puns
- I used to be a baker, but I kneaded dough! 🥖
- I couldn’t remember how to throw a boomerang… then it came back to me! 🪃
- I’m terrible at math… but I hear calculators are good at multiplying! 🧮
- I wanted to be a professional mirror cleaner… but it’s something I can see myself doing! 🪞
- I told a joke about construction… but I’m still working on it! 🏗️
- I asked the clock what time it was… it said, “Time will tell!” ⏰
- I can’t trust stairs — they’re always up to something! 🪜
- I burned my Hawaiian pizza… I should have put it on aloha heat! 🍕
Worst Pun Jokes
- Why did the scarecrow win an award? He was outstanding in his field! 🌾
- I don’t trust stairs — they’re always up to something! 🪜
- I got a job at a bakery… I kneaded dough! 🥖
- I told my cat a joke… it didn’t react at all! 🐱
- I’m on a seafood diet — I see food and eat it! 🐟
- I once got hit in the head with a can of soda… luckily it was a soft drink! 🥤
- I tried to catch fog… I mist! 🌫️
- I used to play piano by ear… now I use my hands. 🎹
Ridiculous Puns
- I named my dog “Five Miles” so I can say I walk Five Miles every day. 🐕
- I used to be addicted to soap… but I’m clean now. 🧼
- I ate a clock yesterday… it was very time-consuming. ⏰
- I told my suitcase a joke… it’s still carrying it around! 🧳
- I once got locked out of my own house… talk about a key problem! 🗝️
- I bought some shoes from a drug dealer… I don’t know what he laced them with, but I’ve been tripping all day! 👟
- I used to work for a blanket factory… but it folded. 🛏️
- I dropped my guitar in the ocean… now it’s sunk in treble! 🎸
Bad Puns That Are Funny
- I used to be a baker, but I kneaded dough! 🥖
- I went to buy some camo pants… but I couldn’t find any! 🥷
- I’m reading a book about anti-gravity — it’s impossible to put down! 📚
- I once tried to catch fog… I mist! 🌫️
- I told a joke about construction… but I’m still working on it! 🏗️
- I can’t trust atoms… they make up everything! ⚛️
- I stayed up all night wondering where the sun went… then it dawned on me! 🌞
- I burned my Hawaiian pizza… I should have put it on aloha heat! 🍕
Best Worst Puns Ever
- 🥔 Spud-tacular comedy coming right up
- 🍞 You’re toast if you don’t laugh
- 🐟 This is the reel deal
- 🌶️ I’m jalapeño business
- 🍩 Donut give up on me
- 🐄 Moo-ving on to the next pun
- 🥑 Holy guacamole, that’s bad
- 🦀 I’m feeling a little crabby
- 🐝 Buzzing with excitement over this one
- 🍉 You’re one in a melon
- 🐐 You’ve goat to be kidding
- 🥤 Sip happens
- 🐚 Shell we keep going?
- 🥖 Baguette about it
- 🐦 Owl you need is love
- 🥬 Kale me maybe
- 🧅 Cry me a river
- 🍫 Sweet talker right here
Worst Puns Ever Tumblr
- 🐠 Cod you knot see this coming?
- 🥕 Lettuce laugh a little
- 🐌 Snail mail is so slow
- 🦆 Quack-tastic disaster
- 🐄 Cow-nt me out
- 🍞 Crust me, it’s bad
- 🐝 Un-bee-lievable nonsense
- 🐾 Fur-midable humor
- 🥛 Moo-lk joke incoming
- 🥦 Broc on
- 🐓 Fowl joke alert
- 🌽 Kernel of truth
- 🥒 Pickle of a problem
- 🐟 Scale of one to awful
- 🧄 Garlic you later
- 🐢 Shell-shocked by bad humor
Absolute Worst Puns
- 🐐 Goat you again
- 🍯 Honey, stop this madness
- 🥑 Avoca-don’t start
- 🐾 Cat-astrophically bad
- 🥦 Broc and roll
- 🐓 Cluckin’ awful
- 🍞 Bread-y or not
- 🐠 Holy mackerel
- 🥔 Mash-terpiece disaster
- 🐍 Snake it till you make it
- 🥩 Meat your doom
- 🦀 Crabsolutely terrible
- 🐟 Fishy business
- 🥕 Carrot on regardless
- 🥛 Milking this joke too much
- 🐢 Turtley ridiculous
- 🐖 Ham it up
- 🥨 Pretzel your expectations
Conclusion
The beauty of the worst puns is that they’re so bad, they circle back to being funny.
They’re conversation starters, mood-lifters, and eye-roll champions.
If you want to entertain, annoy, or simply revel in absurd humor, these puns deliver groans and giggles in equal measure. So go ahead—spread the pun-ishment
Alex Knight is a master of wordplay who turns everyday language into laughter. At Punnery.com, Alex weaves wit and humor into every pun, proving that cleverness and comedy make the perfect pair. With a sharp mind and a sharper sense of humor, Alex turns phrases into fun and wordplay into art.
